Dreaming Wide Awake
by LittleMissReaper
Summary: Joey is having dreams, Seto is watching from afar and wondering, could his best friend be right? Could the only thing between him and love be his ego? Also, name the story contest! Suggest a title! Meant to be a lemon story, but not included.


Author's Note: Hey all, this is a rather long story I wrote a while ago. Really, there are three parts, the one you see here, a transition peice, and a lemon. The lemon isn't included and I thought this peice stood better alone than with the transition peice (which is rather pointless and only a few pages long). Anyway, if you want the lemon, e-mail me and I'll send it to you, or link you to it on to the name...it...well...it doesn't have one, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't think of one. So I decided to let my reviewers name it. I'll wait a few weeks and choose what I like/what fits best from the suggestions. Winner gets cyber cookies and can challange me to write a YGO fic of what ever they want, or, they can tell me what story they want updated next and by when. First, Second and Third place will also receive plugs for their stories on the next chapter of each of my stories, this one and my profile page. Insentive enough? Well, on with the story!

**Untitled**

By means of Little Miss Reaper

"My brain has just turned into a piece of broccoli." was scrawled on a note and thrown across the room to an amethyst eyed boy.

"Jou, I'm sure we wont be finding your brain in the produce department any time soon, Now stop fidgeting, you look like a kindergartener waiting to use the bathroom." The boy wrote back, rolling it under the desks, it finally landing at the foot of a blonde haired boy.

"Really Yug, you sound like a mother…not my mother, but a mother. I'm going crazy here…and I'm not twitching that much."

"You are, now pay attention Jou."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I just keep getting distracted."

"By what?"

The teacher turned around then, and Jou thanked all the gods he'd been praying to that he couldn't pass the note back and his best friend wouldn't know that he'd been distracted by a crush and touching himself under the table.

Jounouchi hadn't been himself lately. He was quieter, less excitable, a bit less hungry and day dreaming something awful.

Stupid dog.

Seto Kaiba looked at the other boy, sitting on his desk, one hand on his lap…his arm moving slowly?

He was masturbating at his desk. Seto could even see the well sized bulge now that he was looking for it. Then the one thing the CEO wasn't planning on happened. He got instantly hard.

Jou's eyes fluttered shut, then opened to being half lidded.

When the gentle stroking finally brought him to the brink of completion, he suddenly stopped, sat up straight, and began paying attention again.

Seto's jaw dropped and he blinked at the other boy several times, his fried brain finally fizzling out and making his body slump into the desk in confusion and exasperation.

Jou calmed down quickly, but Seto's problem took the rest of the period to go away.

The bell rang at three o'clock and a group of friends gathered near their lockers, recounting the day's events, naming the night's chores and responsibilities and predicting what would happen tomorrow.

Usually the loudest, Jounouchi was barely talking, that is, until he walked into a mail box, toppling over.

This act was followed by a sharp pain in his nads and a long string of curse words, some real, some made up and several in different languages.

His friends gave him a look of "Do we know you?"

"Sorry guys."

Honda wasn't quite sure what to do. He wanted to say something but didn't know what that something could be.

Jou had been coming into school looking a mess, his hair tousled, his clothes not looking entirely clean. His eyes would have bags under them and their lids would droop.

Jou's friends were staring to fear for him.

They didn't know what had been filling up Jou's nights.

The entire thing had started and was on its sixth week of being full force.

It was heaven and it was hell, it was realistic love and if it didn't stop soon it was going to kill him.

Jou's friends dropped him off at his apartment after a quick stop at the arcade several turned down offers to do something, anything.

It was five by then, when his homework done, seven thirty (some distraction and deep thought there). He got some dinner (left over egg rolls and a grilled cheese sandwich) , watched Will & Grace, then cuddled into bed with a cup of hot cocoa and a book. While he lay there, sipping away, he pictured Mr. Darcy ravishing his new wife on their wedding night.

At nine thirty, he fell asleep, and at nine-thirty-eight the phone rang.

Jou sat up straight in bed, nearly smacking himself in the face with the phone he'd picked up as he shot awake.

"Hello?" He spoke into the receiver.

A dial tone greeted him.

"Fuck." He hung up and curled back into his blankets.

The next time he woke up, the phone was ringing again, but it wasn't his phone, and he wasn't in his bed…a bed, but not his.

The phone seemed not to even be in this room, it was out of sight but he could hear a deep and squirm worthy voice answer it. It was dark, sophisticated, gravely and hot.

"No, I'm sorry. Busy. Very. No, I'll be engaged for the next several hours if I have any say in the matter." The voice sounded familiar and frustrated.

Jou heard something snap, the phone cord being torn from the wall.

He looked down. He was still wearing his boxer briefs, black ones, but only those covered any part of his torso and legs. Around his throat was a thin, tight collar with a braided cord for a leash. Jou sat up as he heard the lock click and the door slide open against the carpet.

The object of his affection walked fluidly over to the bed, then crawled over to Jou, looking like the sexiest thing since sliced bread.

He growled, "Jou…' and grabbed the leash, pulling the blonde forward none to gently and pressed their lips together. Once Jou's mouth was suitably ravished, the other boy's tongue knowing it perfectly, he backed away.

Jou was dazed, and horny, mustn't forget that one.

While Jou was still blinking, the other boy lunged at him, pinning him to the bed. The fist that was still wrapped around the cord landed near Jou's head, giving him about three inches to lift.

The hand stayed there and Jou thrashed as teeth, tongue, lips and the brunette's free hand played over his body.

He lowered his body to lay on Jou's, and kissed his cheeks, eyelids, nose, then lips, slow and soft soul kisses.

"Jou…?"

"Y-Yeah?"

He suddenly thrust their hips together and Jou bucked back violently.

"Ahhh!"

Seconds later Jou's underwear were gone, having found a new home on a lamp.

Jou's eyes were still stuck on his undergarment's migratory patterns, but not for long as the other boy's mouth found a decidedly phallic object.

It was hot, it was wet, it was heaven…

Jou tried not to thrash or thrust his hips into the other's mouth, even so, when his control broke due to the tortuously slow pace, he found his hips effectively pinned.

Jou let out a whimper as his lover licked slowly at the head of his erection.

Finally when he was at the edge of both insanity and tears, the other boy sped up, still caressing with his tongue as he went and tightening his lips so that Jou could barely think for but the sensations of tight and hot.

Teeth grazed far down his shaft, something he definitely wouldn't experience were he having sex with a girl, and something he wouldn't miss for the world.

Jou wanted this to slow, to be taken all night, but, as cliché as it was, the other boy was so attractive, and so good that Jou was already close.

"Nnnn. Slow-so close…don't want- AHHH!"

The other boy sped up, adding his hand to the equation, gripping hard.

"Please, Ahhh! I don't-ng- want to- NOT YET! AH!"

He woke up on his bed, uncomfortable on the sheets and slick with sweat.

He threw his damp boxers into the hamper, his erection that was still begging for attention when he turned on the cold water. He yelped a little and jumped backwards, nearly falling on his ass, but he slowly worked his way forward into the stream of liquid ice sickles. Fearing for its safety, his hard on quickly shrunk. He washed, dried and quickly climbed into bed, though between two comforters, not wanting his now clean body on the sweat soiled sheets for the next two hours of sleep he may or may not get.

It was after a long day of school, full of drama, tests and bitching teachers. He'd just served detention for falling asleep in Mono Sensei's class again. Out on the grounds, a good distance from the school, there was a willow tree that's leaves brush the ground, and Jou knew who would be waiting for him under it. He acted cool, like he had nothing better to be doing than walking in the directing of that tree, mind you, all he wanted to do was sprint to it. He really needed this today.

He spread some of the hanging branches apart and walked into their own shaded world, a shadow realm.

He was sitting there, nestled between tree roots like they were meant to hold him. He stood, dropping his book as Jou walked in.

They apparently both needed each other today. They held each other so close. Touching noses, hands caressing cheeks, lips and eyelids. The nuzzled into necks and cheeks.  
Finally, they kissed, short and soft, one's hands clutched onto the other's upper arms, the other's arms around the first's waist.

It was a kiss that generated weak knees and words like "hunawa.' It was soul kissage, spirits meeting, dancing on lips.

"I love you." The other boy said.

"I-" Jou managed, before he woke up.

No sweat soaked sheets this time, just Jou drenched in this feeling of uneasiness, smacking blindly at his alarm clock before running to the bathroom to throw up, tears building behind his eyes for a number of reasons.

When it was full morning, awake as he could be, Jou was slumped over his desk, his eyes red rimmed. He'd had a good cry after his face to face with the toilet, frustration, lack of sleep and shame made it last a while.

Every time he looked around the room, his stomach heaved, and every time he looked at Yugi, the boy looked scared.

After class a worry faced Yugi stepped up to Jou's desk, the room was still empting, and Jou had yet to move.

"Jou…?"

"I need to dance tonight, or run…something."

Yugi really did know Jou well, even if he was incredibly confused by the blonde's current state. Jou was energetic, lean and decently muscled, still, he didn't go out of his way to exercise. When he offered it, it meant he needed to get rid of something. Sweating out the extra energy and emotions helped him sleep better at night. That's why he fights when he's angry, it's like he can turn emotion into motion.

Today Jou needed to dance sorrow and frustration.

"Do you want to stay at my house afterwards?"

"Please, and Java? My treat."

"We'll talk then?"

"Yeah."

Yugi smiled, he really did know Jou well. The blonde hated coffee, but knew that Yugi loved it (and never made any jokes about it stunting the spiky haired teens growth) and the quirky little places that sold it in Domino, Jou only ever offered to suffer through it when he wanted to talk.

Before lunch Jou warned Yugi that he'd be bailing for the period.

He shuffled out the back doors, and across the lawn in the direction of a willow tree on the edge of campus.

The branches dipped in a thick curtain, all the way to the ground, and they swayed slightly in the breeze.

He moved through them and sat at the base, exactly where his dream lover had been the night before.

He looked up, it appeared as though white stars were shining in a several shaded green sky.

It was warm.

He was warm.

It might have been because of the sun, but he knew it was because of the dream last night. His heart was beating fast and his stomach was growling and queasy at the same time. The normally ravenous boy was refusing food, mostly because he couldn't stand the feeling of it coming back up.

It wasn't stuffy stale classroom warm, but a lull you into sleep warm, and it worked it's way with Jou.

He rolled up his coat into a pillow and rested it and his head on a root that the other boy had been against the night before.

There was a soft feeling of the pads of four fingertips pressing into the flesh above something much more needy. The fingers stroked softly at the hair there, eyes marveling at the perfect mahogany color.

Jou dragged his fingers slowly to the tip, toying with the slit there, watching hips arch.

"Ah…uh- Jou." His victim rasped. "Please?"

"Not yet."

"Please? Please?" He repeated louder as Jou sped up for a few seconds.

"Beg for me."

"Jou-" The CEO whined.

"Beg." His hand rushed quickly from tip to base, sending a shudder through the other boy.

After a moment, his hand left the other boy's sex entirely, instead favoring his hip, which it glided on, to his side, chest, then nipple. He rubbed it with the heel of his hand and kissed Seto tender and short.

The older boy bucked his hips, looking for any sort of contact. The fifteen minutes that this teasing had been going on seemed like ages. His head thrashed from side to side.

"Jou, PLEASE?"

"Now, that's not quite begging, you know what I want."

"Jou, do it!"

Jou's hand brushed his inner thy, the junction of leg to pelvis, the base of his shaft.

"Take me! Nnn! Master, take me, please!"

Jou's hand surrounded Seto's cock, going faster than before, using all his skill.

"No, please, inside me!" The other boy was crying out, as much in need as in pleasure.

"Please master, f-" he stopped.

Jou pressed a well lubed finger into Seto's entrance. "Say it."

"Nnnnn." Seto moved against the two digits now stretching him.

"Say it pet."

He whimpered as the three fingers were withdrawn. "Jou, please!" He could feel the heat against him, waiting to fill him.

Jou went in a short distance, just the tip, and every thrust Seto tried, Jou backed up for. "Say it Seto, tell me what you want."

"Master, AH! Master-" Jou was now pumping his erection, "fuck me please!"

Jou thrust in to the hilt. "Yes! Tell me what you want!"

"I want you to get out from under my tree."

With a "huh?" Jou awoke.

Jou focused in on the taller boy, who glared back, waiting. Jou didn't reply.

"Mutt, I said I want you to get out from under my tree."

Jou blinked. He stood, looking Seto in the eyes, then giving him the tough guy once over, got distracted by the slight bulge of his crotch (Seto is so a tighty whitey kind of guy). Dragging his vision back up to the other boy's eyes, he blushed deeply and fled.

About ten hours after running away from the clueless man he loved, a cooling sweat soaked Jou was spilling his guts to Yugi over hot chocolate, a latte and cheese cake.

"So you're not on drugs?" Yugi said for the third time after hearing Jou's story, which was told in fragments, run on sentences and hand motions.

"No."

"You've really just not been sleeping."

"Yes."

"You've been dreaming?"

"Yes."

"About Kaiba?"

"Yes." Jou sighed, this was the eight time this particular question had been asked.

"About fucking Kaiba?"

"Sometimes."

"Others?"

"Kissing, cuddling…loving?"

"Oh…" Yugi paused before asking, "But no drugs?"

"No, Yugi."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"And in school?"

"Tired and distracted."

"And jacking off?"

Jou blushed heavily. "That falls under distracted. But yes, twice."

"A class!"

"NO! Total." He sounded frightened and embarrassed.

"Total?"

"Total."

"Total in school?"

"…"

"Jou?"

"Total ever."

It was a very uncomfortable pause before Yugi spoke. "Oh."

"…"

"So you don't do it?"

"Not really."

"Ever?"

"Twice."

"Why not more?"

"I don't want to."

"…"

"Yugi, I know it's weird, but I don't want to come."

Yugi was so confused. "You don't want to orgasm?"

"No."

"Wait, you've never had an orgasm?"

"I get to the brink in my dreams or by hand, then I wake up or stop."

"Why?"

"I want to be with him."

"But Jou….He's Kaiba…"

"I can't make myself do it. I want it to be him."

"Ok…."Yugi's brain was seriously overloading with confused. "Anyway… Jou, this is Kaiba we're talking about. Everyone knows he's hot, but Jou, ZERO social skills, rude rich bastard, he's all you tell him he is every day."

Jou had never heard Yugi be so harsh on anyone, though it was in his best friend's defense.

"Jou, it's just…you're so different."

"Yug, we're not, we're so similar, we just made it into different things. I turned it into a lust for living, he made it into the daily grind. He's all a mask, but once in a while he catch a glimpse of what's behind it. You're right that I don't know him well, but it's not the every day Kaiba that I'm in love with, it's these little snatches that I get. I dunno Yugi, it just feels like we could put our baggage and dysfunctions together and balance each other out into two normal people."

Yugi looked stunned.

"Yugi, I really think I love him."

"Jou, it sounds like it, but… you always fight." Jou could now tell that his friend was grasping at straws.

"Yugi, if he feels like I do, I don't think it's about hurting each other, it's about getting a rise. It's like it's passion. You don't know how many times we've fought. And I've felt it near this breaking point, like it's suddenly going to flip its self over."

"Into?"

"I dunno, but it's like we fight for contact, like we've realized that we've fought so long that we can't be fighting anymore…That's usually when one of us just leaves."

Yugi thought for a long while, shifting uncomfortably and taking a sip of his latte that he'd left untouched for a while. "Well…Jou, it's weird…But I did always wonder a bit about how Kaiba treats you. I mean, he says that I'm his rival, yet he singles and seeks you out. He looks at you a lot, but not with hate or anything…it looks like…sad."

Jou shrugs. "Yugi, don't read into things or exaggerate for me. I know there's little chance that he likes me."

"I'm not Jou, that's all I can say for your side. You know I'll do anything I can to help you in this, and to catch you if things go wrong, but I wont lie to you. You know I wont lie."

"And I wouldn't want you to, buddy."

Jou and Yugi finished their drinks, when they got up, Jou emptied his pockets of change by pouring it into the tip jar, "You have the best hot chocolate here." They both smiled at the man behind the counter and left.

His name was Pax, he had dreadlocks past his shoulder blades, was tall, thin, had green eyes and a scrunched up nose from falling off a unicycle when he was young. He grinned back, then looked down at his combat boots, happy that he was working tomorrow morning's shift.

Seto had his elbows on the table, his forehead cupped in both hands. His face was positioned over his cup of hot chocolate, inhaling the chocolaty goodness. Yes, hot chocolate, it was his guilty pleasure. Mokuba sipped noisily at his iced toffee what ever it was drink.

Pax was at the counter, smiling at the two of them as their morning conversation began.

It was a tradition that the younger Kaiba brother insisted on. Seto didn't eat breakfast, but he liked coffee, so Mokuba made sure that he got something into his system, also, that they spent time together.

Seto groaned, finally taking a drink from the chocolate anodyne.

"Seto, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Mokuba, I just haven't been sleeping well lately."

After a while, when business hit a lull, Pax came over and joined them, a cup of strong green tea in his hands. Mokuba grinned at him, and Seto offered a small tired smile.

The brothers had known Pax forever, he had been at the same orphanage as them and was one of the only decent people there. It was, in fact, the elder Kaiba's fault that Pax's nose is how it is (aka, squished).

Contrary to popular belief, the CEO wasn't a bastard in his personal life, he just had trouble letting people in. Excluding Pax and Mokuba, every person he'd ever trusted had screwed him over. He could trust and be nice to people. He just wasn't sure he wanted to.

Pax smiled serenely as he usually did, but he had a different look in his eyes that Mokuba immediately noticed. However, before he could mention it, Seto started a conversation with Pax.

"So how are your photos coming? I know spring was always your favorite time to take them."

"Aside from the holidays!" Mokuba jumped in.

Pax grinned. "Yeah Mokuba, Spring is my second favorite. My pictures are fantastic this year!"

"Why is spring so great though?" The sleepier, grouchier Kaiba asked.

Pax's eyes widened in disbelief. "Everything just explodes! People are locked up all winter and then, pow! Everyone is out and active, doing things with other people, making connections, real ones Seto. Friends and lovers. I like taking pictures in spring and the holidays because of all the love. I wish that people would fall in love and show it more." He pointed to a space on the wall where a picture hung, a close up on two hands holding each other, you could see a normal, even common street scene beyond them, but the way they were clasped, the way the shadows fell, it made you feel like it wasn't an ordinary day. Pax smiled sadly, he had survived two lovers, one man, one woman, still, somehow he was happy, because he knew he had loved, was loved, and still could love. "Seto, I'd love for you to find someone. When are you going to give that ring away?" It was a simple band of silver with an engraving on the inside. Pax had given it to him a few Christmases ago, meaning it to be given to a special lover of Seto's.

"You know I don't date."

Pax ignored the comment. "You know, I saw a gorgeous blonde here last night."

"Pax, you know I don't like girls."

Mokuba smiled, leave it to his brother to be frank.

"I never said it was a girl." Pax smiled, "So anyway, he was a blonde, ab-"

"Seto likes blondes." Mokuba chimed in.

Seto scowled and ignored him. "Pax, I don't need to be set up. I'm not looking for some random good looking guy. I want someone who-"

"Who loves you?" Pax inserted.

Seto nodded.

"You didn't let me finish. Mr. Gorgeous Q Blonde is very much in love with you. He was here last night talking with a friend."

Seto raised an eyebrow. "You're trusting an overheard conversation."

"No, I'm trusting my friend Yugi, you know him, he was the one Mr. Gorgeous Q Blonde was talking to, and he believed the guy."

"Yugi, as in Moto Yugi?"

"None other." Pax grinned, glad the Seto was smart and that he went to school with/was obsessed with defeating Yugi.

Seto's brain worked slowly due to lack of sleep (his isn't because of dreaming, but work and thinking). Yugi+Blonde CHA Ching!

Mokuba looked surprised and hopeful. "If he was with Yugi, it was probably Jou!"

Seto finished the rest of his cocoa in one gulp.

Pax raised an eyebrow. "That's the Jou you complain about?" Pax knew Seto well, second only to Mokuba, and when he heard the vast amount of ranting time Seto dedicated to the boy, he knew something was up. Seto usually only got ruffled if something was a threat to him or Mokuba, this boy was neither and could still get him so hot under the collar. Pax thought it was as the blonde said, it was about passion.

Seto could finally no longer stand the desperate hinting and stood, giving a curt nod to Pax, who likewise stood, and hugged him. Mokuba got up and waited at the door for his brother, who was still looking at Pax.

The dread lock haired boy finally grinned. "Seto, let yourself be happy, ok? I know how you feel about this guy. For once in your life there's nothing huge, sans your egos, blocking your way. Talk to the guy, ok?"

"I'll sleep on it."

"If you can sleep."

Seto smiled and left the shop with Mokuba. Pax went back to the counter and helped fill a few orders.

In school on Monday, Seto couldn't keep his mind on what the teacher was lecturing about, nor on the paperwork on his desk. Every fiber of his being was concentrating on the blonde haired boy one row over and two desks up. What Pax had said two days ago also weighed heavily on his thoughts, along with who the blonde had been thinking of four days ago, when his hand made its way under his desk to stroke the hardness it found there.

Seto shivered and wished he hadn't thought that. It was bad enough to watch the puppy slowly lick his lips or suck in the end of his pen, not to mention listen to the noise he made when he stretched.

Very few people knew what the real Seto Kaiba was like (three of them being dead, his parents and adopted father). Unlike the façade he showed the world, he wasn't ruthless, cruel or overly ambitious, those were things he made himself in order to survive. However, he was a man of action. He can't stand to be idle when there is work to be done or a question to be answered. He needed to talk to Katsuya and soon.

He plotted for the remainder of the period, spacing when he should have been doing his work. He caught the blonde staring at him multiple times and in the end, decided on one course of action. He would put the ball in Jou's court. Do something so strange that Jou would need to confront him.

Seto stood, pulling the ring off his finger as he did. When he walked by Jou's desk on the way to the teacher's, he dropped it into Jou's open hand on the tabletop.

"Kaib-" Jou was met with a glaring look.

"Mrs. Misumura? May I please go to the infirmary? I have a massive headache."

She looked at him with mild suspicion, she liked neither of the two boys, but finally gave him her consent.

Jou looked at the closing door with such intense confusion that soon other students began to look as well. Finally he snapped out of it, but some of them still stared.

He looked at the smooth and simple ring. It had an engraving on the inside:

"Love is a spontaneous yes."

Finally the bell rang and Jou bolted, the ring clutched in his hand, but no excuse to Yugi.

He tried the nurses office, the actual office, Seto's locker, his locker, the library and the parking lot, but all to no avail. He panted slightly and groaned. How was he ever going to find him?

Not that he really wanted to find him. Seto Kaiba acting strange was a very scary thing. But still, could it mean?

He thought back to how Seto acted in his dreams, then suddenly stood up straight, flashing back to their confrontation from the other day. The willow.

He ran out side, it looked like it was going to rain, thick gray clouds churned above him, it didn't matter though, all hell couldn't break loose until he spoke to Seto.

When he parted the branches of their tree, he saw Seto looking nervous in the dim light. He was biting the knuckle of a finger on his left hand, but dropped it and straightened up when he heard Jou.

"I've seen you staring at me, puppy."

"So you gave me a ring? Funny, I always thought you'd have commitment issues in the other direction." Seto stared at him and Jou bit his lip. "Kaiba, what is this all about?"

Seto turned to walk away and Jou caught his arm.

"Kaiba, what is this all about!"

"Se-" The brunette cut himself off.

"What?"

"Seto."

"What do you mean?"

"Call me Seto."

They both stared for a moment, before pretending that it hadn't happened. Jou dropped Seto's arm. "What is going on, why did you give me the ring?"

"What's going on Katsuya? Why do you stare? Who do you think about when you touch yourself in school?"

Jou paled and blushed all at once, creating a rather unattractive blotching effect. "You saw that?"

"Two desks back, one row over, the perfect view. I couldn't help but see."

There was a long pause. "We chose our seats." Jou pointed out.

Seto nodded, giving a look that totally contradicted his reply. "I like to be in the back."

Another nerve eating pause.

"Love is a spontaneous yes." Jou looked at the ring, still gleaming, even in the dim light.

"You don't think that I'm spontaneous?"

"I know you are."

Seto flipped sides in a manner horribly reminiscent of John Kerry. "I've never given you any reason to think I'm spontaneous. I've never done anything spur of the moment in front of you before."

"Except, you know, give me a ring. But hey, you know you better."

"You don't know me at all." Seto growled.

Jou smiled. "You're not who you let people think you are."

"No one is."

"Some people are."

Seto laughed. "Who, Yugi? You think he doesn't have his own pockets of pain, just like yours and mine?"

"That doesn't mean he's not who he shows you, Not everyone has bad intentions."

"It doesn't matter, they all lead to the same place."

"Why do you need to be like this? I know what hell is just as much as you do."

"So that's it, your big secret life, you fancy you've had it hard?"

"Don't even." Jou growled. He knew that Seto had had it hard and still did. Other kids thought that because the guy was rich, he had it all. He didn't, he had no time, nothing and no one but Mokuba to spend it on.

"The carefree puppy went through an angst phase, got in a few fights and thinks himself scarred." Jou was lifting his shirt, and the stomach and chest which should have been smooth and beautifully sculpted, were horribly flawed.

"Yeah Seto, I fancy myself scarred, just as much as you. I was in a gang, and it caused a lot of trouble when I tried to get out. Before that, I was raped and that's what this is," he pointed to his right nipple which had a burst shaped area around it which was completely scarred. It looked as though someone had tried to peel all the skin off from the nipple area to edge of the burst. "He wanted to mark me as his, he kept the nipple though…" His voice went quiet and his face took on a sickly color. " He knew they were sensitive." He took a deep breath, trying to regain composure. "When I was little, my mom took my sister away, and my dad's drinking got worse. I've had to fend for myself and avoid him ever since… When I was young he used to abuse me, but once I could fight back he learned to just leave me alone, still, I can't stand to see him anymore. How can you hate your own child?… You know what else? We got the money for my sister's eye operation, but she still can't see me because our mom keeps her away. And now I haven't slept right in six weeks and I'm frustrated and tired, but I still have it better than you, right Seto?"

Kaiba couldn't say anything, mostly out of shock and shame, but a small portion of it was because he was distracted by the beauty that was Katsuya.

"Why did you tell me all that?" He finally managed to get out.

Jou shrugged. His shirt was back on now. "It was more convincing than 'oh, believe me, I've had it bad.' So what's your biggest trauma?"

"I'm gay."

Jou's eyes widened and he groaned inwardly, this didn't help things any. "Why is that the worst of all of them?"

"Because it's causing problems now. I'm not in the things that happened in the past. I don't have to live them everyday, only with them, you can live with someone and not see them for a week straight. You can't live in something and not think about it."

Kaiba leaned against the tree. Jou was staring at his mouth. Kaiba nervously licked his lips. Jou squirmed.

"Why did you give me the ring?"

Both boys felt that familiar snapping point, where awkwardness arises, and if they continue, it's all uncharted ground.

"To get you out here."

"Why?"

"To find out why you were staring." Jou kept getting closer, using tiny edging steps. Kaiba was getting nervous, with no place to run. "Just give me the ring back, Mutt."

"Do something spontaneous."

Now, maybe it was because of the lack of sleep, or maybe because of the "Fuck Me" aura that Kaiba was giving off, Jou threw caution to the wind and followed his own demand creating the perfect moment that he'd been dreaming of for weeks.

Their lips pressed together softly at first, and it didn't feel like anything special, but re-angling and pressing a little more firmly made things spark. Jou's eyes got heavy and he felt like he was floating. Every motion of lips, every whimper-moan from the back of Katsuya's throat sent another shiver from Seto's brain, pause at the stomach, another pause at the groin, pause to jelly the knees, then straight to the toes. There was no tongue involved save the tiny flick at the midpoint of Kaiba's upper lip just before they parted.

It was now clear what would happen if they stayed past the awkward flipping point of their fights. Jou smiled and sort of nuzzled their lips together. " I like guys too."

"Oh?"

"You especially."

"Oh?"

Katsuya nodded.

"You kissed me."

"You kissed back." Jou said, smiling. "Do you want to go talk this out? I think we still have a lot of issues to figure through."

"I know a great coffee shop."

"Sounds fine by me, as long as I can get hot chocolate."

Seto smiled, maybe there wasn't so much between him and happiness. Just a long talk and a few cups of cocoa.

END


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